People in love make me want to vomit
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize