I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
