we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
