I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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