you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
