Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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