she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
