Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
