is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
