shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
