you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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