I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
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