a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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