I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
