So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
