The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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