You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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