You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She bit a glass in half.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
