My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Green mimosas i think yes
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
NoShamevember. You game?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
