Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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