I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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