I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
