she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
