Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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