dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
