My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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