Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
