The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
