What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
