Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
