the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's blow job season.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
