I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
