this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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