how can u be prego again
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
