he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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