Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
