Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
