he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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