Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
