rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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