Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
