Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize