1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
