he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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