Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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