I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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