Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
