I cockslap morals
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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