my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my shit smells like andre
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just want nice things and good sex
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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