Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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