Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize