allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
