dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
