Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
