Taylor Swift is so right about you.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
there is puke in my bra ... again
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