I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
