now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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