im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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