Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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