Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
