And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
