I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
