i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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