I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
