Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
