I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
