I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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