I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
